Me? A Crafter who actually SOLD STUFF?

So yeah, the craft fair that I was a part of was ok.  I made about $120.00.  I have a ton of tooth fairy pillows left.  Tomorrow I’ll be snapping pics and putting them up on my Etsy shop.  I still can’t believe people bought my stuff.  It’s hysterically funny to me.

In one of those, “Oh crap I hope they don’t get home and take a closer look at what they bought!”

Then Rational Jen swoops in, ‘Hey, they only paid $5.00 for it, it’s not like they were expecting Martha Stewart.  You even handed out cards to this website and it’s named “BADLYCRAFTED.  Think on that one Stoopy Jen.”

Stoopy Jen is sitting here, mouth hanging open with a vacant look on her/my face.  It’s how I roll lately.

Seriously, a few days ago I was sitting up in bed (G was over at his computer in our room and Than was in his own room asleep), playing “Draw Something” on my Kindle Fire.  Next thing I know I’m jerking myself awake as I’m about to tip over.  Yes, I fell asleep sitting up with the KF on my lap, stylus in hand and I was DROOLING.

DROOLING?  Yeah, yeah, tmi.  But it’s me and it’s this blog so there’s never really such a thing as “tmi” here.  We’re all friends, right?

I mistakenly told G, ‘OMGOSH George, first…I just fell asleep sitting up, and then I almost fell off the bed!!”  He replied, “Did you know you were drooling, too?“

Me:  “Isn’t that something you should wake me up for?  I mean dang, at least push my forehead back so I fall straight back on my pillow and sleep.

G:  “As if you ever fell in a straight line in your entire life.”

He has a point.  But don’t tell him I said that.

I’ve been starting/finishing projects lately but mostly just starting projects.  I actually did crochet a baby blanket for a friend who had a sweet baby girl a few weeks back.  Here’s a pic of that:

It’s pretty, girlie and soft, soft, soft!  I’m actually happy with this one.  That’s a record of 1 in a row.

I also did a project I found on Pinterest.  You take Elmer’s glue and food coloring and paint it on glass.  It goes on really thick and gooey, but when it dries it’s cool looking:

Start to finish:

       

No I have no idea about measurements as I don’t measure.  Yes I didn’t mix really well and have streaky red bits in it.  And yes even though close up it’s not perfect, I’m still perfectly happy with it.  Just know if you paint it on really thick it’s going to slide down the sides into a big pile of goo.  I ended up turning it upside down in my kitchen sink – easier clean up that way.

I’m also starting signage for a local charity. I don’t have any pics of that yet.  I’ll put it up when I get ‘em.

On the home front, Than the Man and I are searching to buy a baby cockatiel.  G’s just letting us run wild on this.  We have a budget of zero dollars and zero cents.  (sigh)  Trying to work bartering out but not sure how that’ll go.  Doesn’t hurt to ask, eh?  We found that some of our favorite people from a pet shop that closed last year started up a new shop in Mesa.  The new shop is AWESOME.  Clean place, pet habitats are clean and the pets are extremely well cared for.  We can afford the pet once it’s in the house – it’s that start up costs that are crazy.  “WE” are learning “fiscal responsibility”.  By “WE” I mean Than.

The only problem with this is that he talks about nothing else and doesn’t stop talking.  All.day.long.  “Hi, cockatiel Mommy, cockatiel.  How cockatiel did cockatiel you cockatiel sleep cockatiel?

Mr. SubliminalFail, thy name is Than.

Say Hello to my Little Friends….

After a marathon sewing session yesterday (after church/potluck), I now only have 15 more of these to make before the craft fair on 6/16!  I can’t believe that I, the Undisputed Queen of Procrastination, have created 35 of these bad boys!  Go me!  Seriously, though I’ve actually made 40 but 1 was for Than, 1 for a niece, 1 for a nephew, 1 to a girl at my dr’s office (one more for another girl up there, but I haven’t gone back up to give it to her yet.  And by “give” I mean just take it up there so she can buy it…).

And in other news, I wrenched my shoulder while patting myself on the back.

 

Ok, so here’s the picture:

Fairly soon, I’ll be taking a sewing class (on the machine, even!).  Then my plot to take over the world will be in full swing….

The Long Road Home and the Tooth Fairy gets some help…

So…I’ve been gone from BC for awhile.  It’s been an eventful while.  One very bad thing happened and I ended up going home after 7 years.

Pull up a chair, this is gonna be a long one….

Backtracking a bit…  Every year in the Spring we put back money (and try to use Tax Return money) for me and Than to “try” to get back to Texas to visit family/friends.  It never works out.  Why?  Because every stinking Spring since we moved to Phoenix the price of gas goes thru the freaking roof.  Seriously…it was 3.00 a gallon when we started saving and was nearly $4.00 a gallon when time came to go.  Which rose airfare far too high and driving not feasible.

So, yet another opportunity passes us by and we can’t go.  I usually get a consolation prize outta this each year (using the money we saved) and this year was no exception.  This year I got a Kindle Fire.  I love it with all that is in me.  I play Words with Friends and Draw Something like my life depended on it.  I read USAToday on it, download books with the intention of reading (something about holding a book in my hand is still far more appealing), and watch Netflix movies on it.  I love my Kindle Fire like it’s a 2nd child.  It’s currently being called “My Precious“.  Every once in a while I let Than play Angry Birds on it, and sometimes I let G gaze on it from across the room.

Anyway, the decision had been made not to go back to Texas and the saved money was spent.  I was supposed to go to the wedding of a very, very dear girl (she’s 37, but will always be a girl to me) that I was a nanny to (along with her sister and brother) when I was 19-20.  Her mom is absolutely one of the best people I know and I consider the mom to be one of my best, dearest (pick an adjective that means really good things) people in my life.  Ever.  So not being able to go to this wedding was heartbreaking.  No Kindle Fire or shopping trip was going to make me feel better about it at all.

Then a nightmare happens.  I get a call at 3:30am on a Saturday morning from my mom telling me my cousin fell off the back of her Harley and was run over by a friend who was unable to stop in time.  My cousin wasn’t expected to live.  And I couldn’t get home.  A lot of things happened (that I won’t go into) and a friend GIVES me the money to go.  She, out of the blue, wrote me online asked if she could put the money in my bank acct so I could go home.  God works in mysterious ways.  You have no idea how much we are thankful for the friend who did this for us.

So Than and I packed up and went to Texas.  We went to the hospital (Than had to stay in waiting room while I went into ICU) and I was able to see/pray/etc with my cousin.  In.Tears.  But the fact that she was still alive 2 weeks after that accident and her liver that was nearly in 2 had started repairing itself was a miracle.  Lots of things happened – all miraculous, but this blog is not the time or place for all that occurred.  Suffice it to say we were all able to witness a miracle.  Shelly is alive.  And she’s currently in a rehab, long term facility awake, knows who she is and who everyone else is and she can speak (around her trach for now), has just started to stand and take baby steps and is 100% herself.  That accident was a horrible accident.  The fact that she lived is all due to God’s intervention.  So many lives have been touched by this horrible accident, you wouldn’t believe how many people are giving God the glory for all this.  And He richly deserves it because only God could have saved her AND brought her out of this completely herself.  One of these days I’ll start a seperate journal and share all that happened on this trip – it’s truly amazing.

We also got to go to the wedding.  The best part was the Saturday before the wedding, my friend Linda and I set Colleen (the bride) up.  Lin went to Coll’s house to help with wedding stuff and after Lin got there I parked down a bit and sent Than to the front door to see if Coll would “buy Cub Scout popcorn.”  She apologized to him and said she couldn’t and I popped out around the corner and asked, “What about from me, could you buy some from me?”  I think the neighbors heard that scream.  She nearly choked me to death hugging me.  It was awesome.  Her wedding was so perfect, she was a beautiful bride and it was really good to see so many people from her family that I hadn’t seen in years.  And Than and I spent two fantastic days out at Lin’s place and it was perfection.

The other days we were there we spent at my friend, Debbie’s (THANK YOU DEBBIE!) who handed me her house keys and said, “whatever you need.”  (Than literally cried his eyes out when we left Debbies.  They are going to be Skype buddies.  He loves her sooo much!  Me, too.  I’ve been friends with her since I was 15).  We also spent the last 4 days at my best friend, Suzanne’s.  That was sooo much fun.  Suz’ boy, Benji was born 20 days before Than but we moved away when they were 2.  We had a great time staying at their house with Suz, her husband, daughter and Benji.  Than wants to go back so he can hang with Benji.  He actually wants to MOVE back but that’s not in the cards. LOL

Ok, about the Tooth Fairy ( I bet you’re wondering if I’d ever get to the crafting part of this crafting blog, eh?)….  So there’s a used curriculum/craft fair coming up and I bought a table to sell my wares at.  My wares.  Yeah.  Me.  Selling stuff I’VE made.  Should be scary.  I’ve decided to make a bunch of those tooth fairy pillows and sell them for $5.00 a pop.  They’re small and I can normally make 1 an hour.  Now if I only had an hour to make one.

It’s what I’ve been doing lately instead of typing on here.  I told myself I needed 50 by the time the fair rolls around in mid-June.  I currently have 20 made.  I had more but I gave 1 to my niece and 1 to my nephew (the ones that live here), 1 to Than and I have 1 set aside for my friends son.  OH and I have one that I’m going to send to Alaska for my friends little girl.  But I also want to make her a flower baby felt doll.  I’ll share those here after I get ‘em done.

For now, here’s some of the tooth fairy pillows:

     

When I make tooth fairy pillows to put on my Etsy shop, someone remind me to photograph them separately on a light background so you can see the colors better.  You’ll do that for me, right?

 

PROJECT: Anime Box and rambling insanity

So, yeah…I suck, as in SUCK at drawing anime.  I give it a shot every once in a while and it’s worse than “badly”crafted.  It’s like someone gave a loaded paintbrush to one of those “smart” elephants and tries to tell you that the sloppy looking painted picture is something other than splashes of paint on a canvas.

Animal Handler:  “Look!  Harold the Wonder Elephant just painted the Mona Lisa!”

Me:  “Dude, that looks like the elephant held the brush in it’s trunk while you moved the canvas in circles.”

AH:  “No!  I didn’t move it in circles!”

Me:  “But you admit to moving the canvas as the elephant just stood there with a loaded paint brush in it’s trunk, right?”

AH:  “Well, yeah, but hey how many elephants out in the bush can paint?”

Me:  “How many elephants in the bush have had a loaded paintbrush handed to them?”

AH walks off grumbling about mouthy, smurf-lady who thinks she’s an art critic.

 

Um…where was I?  Oh yeah…anime and me sucking at it.  So, I’m under extreme stress right now with a bunch of crap going on.  Mostly it’s my very beloved cousin was in a terrible motorcycle accident in Texas and I’m trying to get my crap together for Than-the-man and I to drive out there.  Big Daddy can’t miss work so he can’t come.  He’s ok with that as he’s not the biggest fan of the best state in the world.  Psh!  Who needs him? Ok, so I do…

Um, where was I again?  Stop making me get off track people!  Yeah, I’m talking to you red haired guy with the glasses.  Stop making me get side-tracked.  And you, lady in the pj’s…it’s fricking 3 in the afternoon where you are…get up, get a shower, brush your teeth and go outside and live a little.  Spending all your time on the computer is not healthy.  There’s a whole world out there to explore!

(sigh)…see?  I’m so easily side tracked…remind me to tell you about the bank story….

Anyway, I can’t sleep.  Overly-anxious about getting to Texas just to be there. I LOVE my cousin.  She was my first hero.  I LOVE HER.  Have I mentioned how much I love her? So anyway I have this black box (it seems I paint all boxes black, eh?) and some really cool paint colors that I’ve picked up recently.  I decided to paint each side a different color and once that dries I’m gonna FORCE myself to perfect my anime drawing so that I can draw anime faces on each side – or I’ll just draw Pokemon type creatures on it.  Either way, I’m giving myself no way out of learning this stuff.

Here’s where I stand on the project as of now:

     

So there’s what all four colors are.  I left extra black space on the top as that’s where the box fits.  I haven’t measured off the sides of the box top yet so I can paint it like the sides with the thin black strip all the way around.  It’s late and I don’t want to attempt it.  I’m anxious, not insane.  There’s a difference buddy…slight, but still a difference.

And now, for something completely different (thank you Monty Python!)

Than and I went to the bank today.  For the 3rd time I’ve had to go in because they keep screwing up ordering our checks with the new address on it.  First time I went in, I changed the address and the banker ordered the checks for me (we get free ones with our acct.).  A week or so goes by, no new checks.  So I stop off in the bank and talk to a 2nd banker and he looks up my stuff and sees the address change but the 1st banker didn’t order the checks.  (sigh).  Ok so HE makes sure of the new address and orders my checks.  A week goes by.  I go to the mailbox and find the new box of checks! YAY!  Correct address on the outside of the box, but on the inside, the checks have the.old.address.

Really Wells Fargo?  You guys just can’t hire people to push buttons correctly or what?  So in the midst of all this very, very stressful time what with me getting a new disease (oh yeah, that’s Disease No. 4 for those keeping count), Shelly lying in ICU in Texas and me desperate to get there, I find that Wells Fargo bankers need lessons in how to push buttons correctly.

Today’s banker gets “Jen Who’s Had Enough And Is Completely Overwhelmed At This Point” (try fitting THAT on a business card!) She gets it all right and even calls the check printing company to make sure they are seeing the same info she’s showing in the  bank system.  Yep, it’s fixed.

Then I ask this banker, “Btw, where is Than’s Savings account money?  It’s showing a zero balance and we haven’t touched that account in over a year and it had at least $15.00 in it“.  She didn’t know.  No one can tell me.  I have their Research Dept figuring it out.

The banker chick then mentions this little gem to me:  “Btw, why aren’t you on your husbands Savings account?“

Me:  “I am.”

Banker:  “No, no you’re not.  And did you know that if anything happens to him you legally can’t touch the money? (it’s like $50.00)”

Me: “I am on that account.”

Banker:  “No, it shows right here he opened the account in 2008.”

Me:  (heavy sigh):  “No, I opened both the checking and the savings in Texas in 1999 the year we got married.”

Banker:  “We show you only opened a checking account.”

Me:  “Someone’s smoking crack and I can guarantee you it’s not me.“  She’s acting all conspirator-like…as if G was sneaking around on me opening up savings accounts and putting $50.00 in there.  So I call G at work and the 3 of us have this conversation that goes on and finally the Banker gets told by me and G that their dumb-ass bank made us switch our savings to a money market account in 2008 to avoid fees if we don’t keep a certain amount in the account.  She’s still denying that I opened a savings acct in Texas in 1999.

By this point (after we’ve hung up with G) I’m at the “I can’t take anymore stress” point.

So I snap.

COMPLETELY SNAP.

I don’t get mean.  I get goofy.  I just start laughing.  Hysterically.  Than’s sitting next to me, being a good boy the whole time this is all going on.  But then he sees me start to lose it and he gets mad.  At the banker.  And at Wells Fargo.  And my 9 year old son slams his hand down on her desk and GROWLS AT HER saying, “LOOK WHAT YOU GUYS DID!  YOU BROKE MY MOM!”  I am telling you right now – he REALLY DID THAT.

It made me laugh even harder.  It was so freaking funny.  I couldn’t stop laughing.  He got all momma bear protective.  He’s seen me take some pretty harsh hits lately with my health (esp. my health), this trip to Texas, etc., etc. and he just wants to wrap me in bubble wrap and not let anything else happen.  Meanwhile I have a target painted on me and people keep lobbing things at me.  I’m ok, though….God’s got my back.  And front.  But Than-the-man ain’t letting NOBODY mess with his mommy right now.

I had to make him apologize for freaking out the normal people.  Sometimes when we walk through stores and we do our normal weird stuff (Than’s Interpretive Dance in grocery stores is hysterically funny), I say, “Than stop…you’re freaking out the normal people.”  And we laugh our butts off.  But I have to teach him right from wrong and he had to know that growling at the banker wasn’t right.  She’s not the one who did it to me, it’s the bank as a whole.  I try hard to teach him to “never shoot the messenger”.

The kid’s getting an allowance raise though.

PROJECT: Before & After Flower Wall

Blank wall above my desk

BEFORE:

AFTER:

Got the idea from this really great blog I found.  She offered up the idea and template to readers and I went for it.  I’d have loved to use paper like she did, but I only had these papers available to me.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll attempt to take a better “AFTER” picture…..This is “badlycrafted.com” not “badlyphotographed.com” , although it should always be assumed that anything I attempt is going to be crappy in some form or another.

Creating a Monster…a sewing monster

What is this you ask?  This is Than’s first creation that he, personally, sewed.

Yesterday in an attempt to give him “something to do”,  I decided to teach him to sew.  I created a monster.  He now wants to sew all.the.time.  Yesterday he made three things (I’ll post pics of the other two in a minute) and told me that “I could sit here and sew all night!”  He’s decided that he just wants to sew, sew, sew.  He loves it.  LOVES it.  I’m so glad he loves it.

is the puffer fish he created.  I do the cutting out of the shapes, he sews together.  However on this one, I did sew the black spikes on because it would have been a nightmare (for me) to have him do it.  See, I’m in charge of cutting out the shapes (for now) and threading the needles.

Here’s his last project from last night:

  You even get a bonus of Than in the picture.  And, as an extra special bonus, Than doing his impersonation of Vanna White’s “flourish” move.   I hope that’s not patented.

Anyway…life’s been crazy since moving into the new place.  G, Than and I love it and are happily ignoring the boxes still sitting in the dining room.  You know the dining room that’s supposed to serve three purposes:  Eating place, School room and Craft room.  Eventually we’ll get those boxes taken care of.  Mostly they are full of G’s music cd’s, Than’s school stuff and my craft stuff.  We just need to get organized.

As if.

I’m busy sewing Tooth Fairy Pillows for a book fair coming up (bought a table and everything!) so I can sell them.  Then I’ll put the remainder up on my Etsy shop.  My goal is to make 50.  So far I’ve made 12.  I have 6 weeks to make the rest.  Ummmmm…

PROJECT: Tooth Fairy Pillows and other ramblings

This is my latest effort to make money for Than’s 4th Grade curriculum.  I’ll be making scads of these pillows and selling them on my Etsy store and at the Used Curriculum Book Sale in June.  I’m considering putting a ribbon on top for them to hang from the door, but not sure yet as ribbon is freaking expensive and I’m freaking broke.

I need to put a disclaimer up when I’m selling that “Of course these are handmade by the idiot at badlycrafted.com.  It ain’t named that because I’m trying to be humble.  It’s actually truth in advertising.  You get what you pay for.  A $5.00 pillow that holds a tooth in pocket at the top and a place for money in the bottom pocket.  No two are alike unless asked for and all sewing is iffy.”  Wonder if I can fit that on a business card….hmmm.

I’m going to attempt to make friendship bracelets that have actual clasps on them, too and sell them for $3.00 -$4.00 each (depending on final costs after making them).  Make a lot, sell for cheap and hope people are so excited by how inexpensive they are that they’ll overlook the bad craftsmanship.  Wonder if I should put THAT on a card?  Hmmm….

Friends have been trying to help me come up with ideas of crafts to make and sell at the book sale.  I’m getting far too many suggestions that require some level of skill.  Honestly, don’t these people actually KNOW me?  They’ve seen the work first hand.  They know it’s crap.  Maybe they hope that if I make a bunch of something that eventually I’ll get good at it.  I’m the opposite.  I just get worse as I go on because I fret over each stitch and try to change it …sometimes on the same project which makes things uneven.  At least I’m having a good time doing it.

Heck, even my dentist put up one of the Tooth Fairy pillows on his FaceBook page saying it was cute.  He must really want me to come in and get that filling…   (I love my dentist and his entire staff, btw.  They put up with my weirdness).

Oh!  I haven’t mentioned the “move”.  We moved into a better place and the moving company was FAN-FLIPPING-TASTIC.  Phoenix Valley people – I solemnly swear that I will never use another moving company (if I can help it) other than http://www.alwaysprofessionalmoving.com ever again.  They were awesome.  Above and beyond.  No creepy criminal types – just guys that worked fast and efficiently.  Didn’t draw things out to make more money – they don’t work that way.  As a matter of fact they hustle the whole time and get your stuff moved as fast and as safe as possible.  They are soooo good that you have to book ahead.  Like way ahead because people know how great they are.  Just thought I’d add my .02 to let you guys know what a great company they are.  And no I don’t get squat for this little recommendation.  They don’t even know I’m doing it.  I’m all about word-of-mouth when I find a really great deal.